Sunday, May 21, 2017

"Ingat Umur"

My sister has completed her final project.  If you were growing up with me, then you know my sister who is 11 years younger than me, then you know my age.
I am not young anymore but I am not marrying anybody and I have no children.  Some friends said to me, "Ingat Umur!" (means "remember your age" or like telling me that I am now old).
Wherever you are coming from, it is a bad thing to remind a woman about their age, although it was meant to be a joke.
My friends who said that usually older, at least few months older, married and have some children.

Yes, I am getting older, so are you.
Just because I am not married and have no children, doesn't mean I don't remember my limited time as human.

How dare you.

I always remember of my mortality and every other human's limited time.

When I was a child, I used to get asthma attack every time I remember that everyone around me eventually will leave this world.

I lost one of my best friend, just one year after she got her bachelor degree and start working.  A long way before she reach her dream which was getting married.  So I was reminded that I have limited time to reach my dream, and to be married is never been my dream.

How dare you telling me that I don't remember my own age.  I do remember, I do reminded every time I read a regulation of some event or a requirement to apply a job.  I don't want to be married just because I won't get hired anymore due to my age.  It's like taking an easy way. And you my friend, always be the one who said, marriage is not easy, and it doesn't always give you happiness.  (So are you telling me to take the same shitty way because you already stuck in the deep dark damp shit?).  I'm not against marriage, but I know it is not for everybody.  I hope someday I would get married, but I also hope I would be happier whether I am married or not.

I love children, my nephew and my nieces are the cutest children but I don't really have to have one, right?  I mean saying "I want to have a child" is already a wrong statement.  Children is not a possession.  Again, there is no guarantee that I would be a good parent. There is also no guarantee that they would take care of me when I become old and sick.  And what if I die when they still needs me? See. I always remember of my limited time.

Maybe I would regret that I didn't get married when I was young, but that's the thing about regret, it happens when it's already too late, don't cry over it.  Or Are you, my friend, wishing that I would regret my decision?  I hope not, you are my friend.  I would always wish for your happiness,  so I hope it's not only me who wants to be your friend.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Just some repost on what am I doing

Hello, May!

It's been more than 6 months after I "resigned".  I wasn't doing nothing,  I make illustrations for some freelance project, barely enough for the monthly bill but I guess it's still alright to not looking for a new full time job. Aaaaand... I'm planning on making animation!

It's still a long way to go but I will start as soon as I have the fund.  Like always, it's a self-funding project.  I really want to get another fund but I am a really bad producer and I don't want to postpone the project for another year.

I also participate in some workshops:
A thriller writing class, because deep inside I still want to be a writer.

then a watercolor drawing class, because I really need to learn.  The Instructor is also from DKV, only 11 years younger. (D*mn, I'm old).

and also "punch needle embroidery" workshop, cause it's always fun to learn new things.
I already bought a lot of fabric to make some embroideries at home :)

See, I am not doing nothing.  So, let me know if there is any other fun event or workshop in Bandung :)